Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
