Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Randomize