i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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