yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
