White coat. Heels.
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
