If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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