ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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