Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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