I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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