im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize