yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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