This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
