Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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