last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Did I show you my penis last night?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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