he puts the penis in happiness.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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