you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Randomize
