I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
tell your sister to shave her snatch
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
