Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Randomize
