69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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