the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
