did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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