oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize