I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
