You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
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