with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
