my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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