cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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