I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
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