Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
