Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
