i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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