I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
