go do what you do best...puke behind churches
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
