If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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