Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
