So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
