I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
