you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
