I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
