So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
