i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
