No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
