we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
