Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
