He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
