And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
