What did we do last night that was yellow?
are you so shy because you have an std?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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