Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
