how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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