he shaved USA in his pubs
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
