i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
