My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
