forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
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