help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
