he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
