well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
