I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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