Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
