Betty ford says i'm here all night
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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