Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
