And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize